Tuesday, March 27, 2007
Sometimes the busiest times are the ones when I don't have much to say. It's been a busy, stressful few weeks. I've met with 3 different midwives and one ob/gyn (for a VBAC consult), have attempted to contact 2 different hospitals about our wishes about Savannah's birth, and have beaten myself up over my body's inability to birth Emma in a way which would allow me to birth Savannah at home with no extra risk.

The rest of this entry is going to be a very angry, venting one. Just so you know.

Our desires for this birth are as follows:

*To birth Savannah at home (which is not going to happen, as midwives aren't "allowed" to attend homebirths in NY). Also, the risk of uterine rupture due to my cesarean with Emma has made both Jared and I uneasy, despite our great desire to birth this little girl in the safety and privacy of our own home.

*To labor at home with Emma here with us as long as possible, then drive to the hospital and finish laboring naturally there.

*For the idiotic nurses and doctors to leave my baby girl ON MY CHEST after the birth, allowing only Jared and I to touch, clean, and attend to her. I will enforce this.

*For the sonsofbitches nurses to NOT put blinding ointment in my daughter's eyes (because I do NOT have STDs, dammnit!), or inject her with Vit K or Hep B. She will not be at risk of excessive bleeding and my breastmilk will give her all the Vit K she needs once it comes in. Also, I'm not going to let any IV drug users or whores near my child, so the Hep B is useless.

We are in the process of seeking legal counsel from a very good high school buddy of mine regarding these things. It's been very stressful and at times I just want to kill someone. Savannah and Emma are our children, not the hospital's or the government's. We have every right not to accept these invasive, unnecessary things without having to jump through legal hoops! We are angry, we are frustrated, and we are growing more and more pissed with each passing day.

I emailed the hospital I gave birth to Emma to about all of this and instead of contacting me they called our pediatrician! She called us and attempted to "teach" us about the necessity of the newborn screenings and injections. We basically told her that we know everything and that it is OUR choice, not up to NYS or any meddling nurses.


I'm getting really upset talking about this. That's the summary of what's been going on. We're fighting with outsiders about the wellbeing of our children, and it doesn't feel good to have to explain myself all the time. I do the very best to keep my daughter healthy and happy and safe. And I will not be convinced to do things that I am opposed to.

Posted by Kier at 8:43 PM |


At 4:53 AM, Anonymous Mandy said........
I definitely understand your frustration. You know we planned to have Maggie at a birth center here in NC and then ended up at the hospital. I was SO SO MAD. But in the end, I finally had to just calm down and enjoy the experience of the birth (IV in my hand and all - booooo!).

It's funny how people are, thinking that they know what's best for the mother and baby. But (playing devil's advocate here) you must remember that so so many women just go through the motions and do as they're told. So nurses and hospitals aren't used to what you are asking of them. It sucks. I know.

Have you tried posting to the mothering.com message boards asking for help finding a midwife or a hospital nearby that might be more willing to meet your needs?

Anyway, I truly hope that Savannah's birth is a joyful one. I know there are many things that are frustrating you now, but I'm praying for you and your family that you can work through it and have the birth experience that you want.

If I were closer, I'd find you and give you a hug.

At 11:37 AM, Blogger Kier said........
Thanks for the support, Mandy!! I've selected a team of midwives to work with us and they deliver at Children's Hospital - not my first hospital choice. We're actually in the process of looking into the underground network of Buffalo midwives who do homebirths and some doulas to assist us.

BOOOO to the IV - isn't it strange how uptight the hospital staff gets about them? You're in a room for 5 minutes and immediately someone shows up with a needle to put in you. :(

You're right, sometimes you just have to let go and enjoy the process. Unfortunately with Emma I wasn't able to do that, but I hope Savannah will able to join us on the outside via the right way. :P

I hope you come home to Clarence again soon. It would be awesome to see you in person again and to meet your precious family!

At 3:08 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said........
I understand your frustration. Knowing what you want and being unable to get it, especially when it comes to your children, is truly maddening. We are dealing with similar issues here, not sure about where I really want to birth, not having the support to birth where we want etc. I also recognize that *for me*, all of this will be far less important to me once the baby is pink, breathing, and in my arms. In that moment, I won't care where I am I will just be rejoicing.

And yes, you have the right to refuse treatment including IVs, vitamin K etc. Please make informed choices and do what is best for you, not just want seems the most 'natural'. Each woman, each birth, each baby is unique. There truly are situations where an IV, vitamin K, etc would be indicated and it's up to you to discuss these things with your midwife or doctor. Easier said than done, I know, since many doctors just want to tell you what to do, and not 'discuss' anything. It can feel like you are being railroaded when you are in a physically and emotionally vulnerable state. That's where your husband and doula can help you, not to speak FOR you but to help you find your voice again.

To refuse consent, the legally binding phrase for you to say is "I refuse to give my consent (for this procedure)"


At 9:47 AM, Blogger KMB25 said........

I'm sorry that you're going through such a rough time. I pray that as it gets closer to July, things will get settled and you'll be able to enjoy Savannah's birth! My thoughts and prayers are with you.